I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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