i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
