I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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