Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
