She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
