I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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