you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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