I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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