hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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