Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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