Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
