So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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