Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
