You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So squirting runs in the family.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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