Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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