Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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