Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
