White coat. Heels.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
