Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
