these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
