It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
