Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
