If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Found the puke drawer
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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