The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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