I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
