you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
