Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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