I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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