something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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