I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
did you just send me my own nude
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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