I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
