She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
