ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
