Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
