found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
