Sponge bath it is.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
