Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
