I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
