Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize