Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
