i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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