went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
