Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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