We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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