i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
