well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
