Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
