why didn't you poke me back
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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