Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
