Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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